Washington, DC — President Barack Obama shocked the country today with news that he is running for a third term.
“I can’t abandon the American people now when they need me more than ever,” Obama told reporters at a press conference today. “We’ve come this far as a nation, now is not the time to do something different. This is the change you wanted and this is the change you’re getting.”
Presidential hopeful Rand Paul of Kentucky told NBC News he does not agree with Obama and his announcement.
“This defies everything the Constitution stands for,” Paul said. “We cannot let this man have a third term.”
In the history of this country only two presidents have served more than two terms, Theodore Roosevelt and Franklin D, Roosevelt. The major problem for Obama when he runs in 2016, is the 22nd Amendment. In short, the 22nd Amendment states, “No person shall be elected to the office of the President more than twice…”
The U.S. Constitution does make an exception in the 22nd Amendment though:
“This article shall be inoperative unless it shall have been ratified as an amendment to the Constitution by the legislatures of three-fourths of the several states within seven years from the date of its submission to the states by the Congress.”
This means Obama’s third term presidential run is only valid if he receives 75% approval from the Congress, though insiders say Obama plans to make an executive order to ratify this.
“Obama has really done a lot to put pressure on Big Masturbation and I think a third term is exactly what he needs to put an end to masturbation in this country once and for all. I wish him the best of luck!”
Paul Horner, who is a spokesman for the Obama Administration, answered questions from reporters about their campaign strategy to achieve a third term in office.
“Obama is guaranteed to win in 2016. I mean seriously, will it even be close? The Republicans believe the Earth is only 6,000 years old and that Obama is a Muslim; and Hillary Clinton is, well, she’s Hillary Clinton. I don’t even think we’re going to have to campaign, we’ll probably just end up phoning this thing in. I think as long as Obama doesn’t die, he is a lock for President in 2016.”